For years I have craved normality or just to be a normal kid. But thats the thing I've always been different, the type of person who is never in the spotlight but never falls under the radar. I came out to my dad this past weekend, without much fan fare. It's exactly how I wanted it to go. Accepting, loving and there for me. I couldn't have asked for anything better.
Lately though I had noticed that whenever I looked at something, heard some music or was reading something I always looked for the depressed part of it. What looks sad, its weird to write and I'm not explaining it right but thats as good as its going to get. But then I came to a revelation, I have nothing to be depressed over. Snap out of it! In a non egotistical way, my life is great! Came out to my dad, both of my parents now know and I'm 18. What problems should I be seriously having. I've noticed that I tend to have sabotaging thoughts. Like there always has to be wrong, nothing can be okay. But it can.
Sorry if this post is a whole bunch of random ideas, its been sitting in my "edit posts'' folder for the past week as I put together thoughts and such.
When I came out to my dad it was prom night, I wrote him a letter, gave it to him then left for up north and my school's after prom. I guess it was the full car of people but I didn't tell a soul what was happening. I was texting my dad on the way up and he was really okay with it. Only two people now really now. My friend Alanah who messaged me before about it and my friend Stacey who I told personally. At this point these are the only people who deserve to know from me personally. Whoever reads this blog, I dont know. I'm sure there are people I know who read this blog. But unless they've told me that they do its all anonymous!
The last two weeks (from prom until now) I have really learned a lot about myself, my family, friends and people in my life. It has refocused my attention to people who were once misunderstood by me and made some really good friendships. Ultimately this has signalled a new chapter in my life, a more open one at that.
P.S. Where are all the bloggers disappearing too?
Normal Gets You Nowhere
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I hope things continue to work out for you!
I'm so happy for you coming out to your dad! I wish I had your courage :)
PS. Yeah, I was wondering the same thing about the dissappearing bloggers!!!! Strange! :S
Congratulations on coming out to your father. :)
I also have random ideas for personal posts frequently and am never quite sure how to express what I want to say (the more so because English is not my mother tongue). In the end though, it's always a relief to get things off one's chest, the more so when they are so personal to yourself. :)
Concerning the other bloggers, I'm afraid a lot of bloggers went to tumblr or twitter because messages there are much shorter usually. It's definitely disappointing to me because I prefer real blogs like ours, but I guess we can't do anything against it.. except continuing to blog the way we do it now.
Love,
Lu
great post!
I am incredibly happy your father accepts you as many don't have that in their lives.
Also, just so you know, you are allowed to have quiet depressed like moments. Do not beat yourself up about it. We always continue to grow no matter what. There is always some kind of balance in the end.
I just randomly found your blog clicking through links. Summertime can be slow in the blogosphere :)
Bro, just read this. And I'm happy for you. BE THE FUCK HAPPY!!!
Like, cereally, life ROCKS.
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